Interpersonal Relationship

Your success will depend on other people.

An interpersonal relationship is one where you have interaction with one or more people. As this covers a very wide area I will narrow it down to relationships where you are involved with another persons life to some extent. In this context a business relationship would not necessarily become an interpersonal relationship.

How well you relate to other people will have an effect on your life and success. Someone who treats other people poorly will not be successful. I know there are people out there who are abusive and yet still appear successful. If you have read the page on meaning of success you will realize that they are not really successful. They may succeed in one or two areas but they are not successful in life.

If you have a good interpersonal relationship with someone they will trust and support you. If it is a bad relationship they will look for opportunities to pull you down. So why make life difficult? When you treat your family, friends and acquaintances well, then you have strong allies.

What happens when something goes wrong in a persons life, and it happens to all of us. If the person has treated others well, has a good reputation, then their family, friends and even the community will rally around to support them. If they have been abusive then the people around them will spot their weakness and attack. Make allies not enemies.

Creating Relationships

What goes into creating a good interpersonal relationship. It is not enough to just be a nice guy. Strong relationships are built on trust, honesty, respect and communication. I will be dealing with each of these in greater detail on other pages, for now let us look at building a relationship.

When you meet someone new, you really know nothing about them, other than what they look like, you will tend to judge each other based on that (read Dress for Success). You should at least smile at them. Try to suspend your judgment until you know them better. Expect the best and respect their presence, this will allow for better communication.

I remember one time when I was working at a hotel. It was in the early summer and a 'gang' of bikers came into the hotel wanting rooms. The front desk clerk came to me and said we have a problem, she had not even talked to them yet....

I greeted the group in a friendly fashion and found out that they wanted twelve rooms for two nights. It turned out that they were all ministers from different churches who shared a passion for motorbikes, they were touring the area to discuss religion with the local ministers. Expect the best.

Don't be So Interesting

Now that you have met a person, show some real interest in them, find out who they are, what they like and so on. If you want someone to be interested in you then you must be interested in them.

I find it amusing, but sad, when someone tries to create an impression by being interesting.. Their conversation runs on the lines of "I am this, I do that, I have this...look at how great I am." Then they wonder why the other person does not want to talk to them again! Be interested not interesting, you should be making an interpersonal relationship not a me only relationship.

It is quite alright to talk about yourself, when somebody else invites you to. Let them decide if you are interesting to them. Most people tend to talk to much and listen too little. If you look at it, even internet sites should be based on this. With this site for example, I first had to look at the people that I had met and be interested in what they wanted to know about.

By reading these pages you have invited me to talk (write), it is for you to decide if it is interesting to you. Would it really help if I put up big banners saying how great I am, some site owners seem to think so. I am far more interested in who you are, what you want to say and what you want. I already know what I want. Hey contact me, I would like to get to know you.

So you have met someone and shown your interest in them, how far will it go? Maybe they will just be an acquaintance, that's fine it is nice to have someone who will share a smile, or it may end up as a long term interpersonal relationship. Either way it is well worth the time it takes to build it. Read What is Love, Communication in Relationships, Trust in Relationships and Healthy Relationship to keep it alive and flourishing.

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